Peeved
by LynstHolin
Summary: Poor little Scorpius Malfoy has an encounter with the most annoying denizen of Hogwarts his first night at school. Non-pairing. Set in the same universe as 'We Are Three'.


No pairings

No warnings-appropriate for all ages

Disclaimer: The Harry Potter universe belongs to JK Rowling, and I just play around in it for fun.

...

Scorpius lay wide awake in bed on his first night at Hogwarts. It was one o' clock in the morning and, due to his unusually small bladder, he had to wee so bad, his back teeth were floating. But the Ravenclaw boys' bathroom lay at the end of a long, winding corridor, and Scorpius' grandfather had told him that _ghosts_ roamed Hogwarts by night. He thought he'd be able to hold off until dawn, but it was starting to get downright painful.

All right, first he had to put his feet on the floor. His bed at home had a solid pedestal base with no space underneath, but his dorm bed was on posts, leaving a perfect spot for monsters to lurk as they waited for bare boy feet to chomp. Why, oh why couldn't another boy wake up and have to go to the bathroom, too? It was a well-known fact that under-the-bed monsters wouldn't attack if there was more than one person awake in a room. He looked at the boy in the bed next to him and thought about waking him up. "Please, I don't want to go to the bathroom by myself," he imagined himself saying to the boy. No, he could never do it. It would be too mortifying, and he already had the nickname Cry-Baby Malfoy. He didn't want to look even more baby-ish.

Scorpius' bladder cramped, and he knew it was nearly too late. He got up into a crouch and sprang off the bed and as close to the opposite wall as he could. Oh, Merlin and Morgan, he had to walk past _more beds_, all of which could have their own monsters beneath. Scorpius pressed himself against the wall and slowly crept along, hardly daring to breathe. Once he was out in the hallway, there were niches that, in the dim glow of the night-lights, looked like gaping mouths. Scorpius dashed down the hall in a zigzag pattern to avoid them; who knew what could be hiding in them? Why was this hallway so _long_? His bladder cramped again, and he was sprinting straight down the center of the hallway, hoping his speed would keep him safe from whatever creatures might reach out to grab him. Too desperate to worry about his dignity, he grimaced, bugging his eyes out, and whined a little. He let out a sob of relief when he finally saw the bathroom door.

Scorpius was very pleased when he found the bathroom lit up so brightly that there were hardly any shadows in the white-tiled room. Nothing scary could happen in a place like this.

As Scorpius washed his hands, he heard someone whisper, "Ooh, an ickle Malfoy."

"W-who's there?" Scorpius spun around, but there was no one there. He jumped when a hand plucked at his Ballycastle Bats pajamas. Someone cackled in his ear, and he whimpered.

"Are you scared of ghoulies and ghosties, and long-leggedy beasties, and things that go bump in the night?" the voice jeered.

Scorpius caught sight of something out of the corner of his eye, but it zoomed behind him and out of his line of sight. A ghost. Most definitely a ghost. Scorpius' knees went wobbly. "H-h-h-h-help m-m-m-m-m-" He was so frightened, his stutter made it impossible for him to speak, so he just wailed. It echoed loudly in the bathroom, as did the ghost's gleeful laughter.

_Bonk_. Something hit Scorpius on the crown of his head. A chess piece. A bishop carved from jade, to be precise. Scorpius recognized it from one of the chess sets in the Ravenclaw common room. _Bonk_. A queen. _Bonk bonk. _A knight and a king. Scorpius was going from terrified to angry. Those chessmen _hurt_. "I-I'm t-t-t-telling th-the h-headm-mistress," he shouted. A pawn landed squarely in his mouth. This ghost wasn't terrifying. It was _annoying_.

The bathroom door opened. "Peeves, if you don't stop this instant, I'm going to get the Bloody Baron!" someone said.

"That chess set was Rowena Ravenclaw's. If you've broken any of the pieces, McGonagall might banish you," said a second person. The Lysander twins were there with wands out, wearing identical nightshirts. Scorpius was very happy to see his two new friends.

A tiny man wearing an orange bow-tie and a cap covered with bells appeared beside Scorpius, floating in mid-air. He stuck his thumbs in his ears, waggled his fingers, crossed his eyes, and blew a raspberry before vanishing. "What sort of ridiculous ghost was that?" Scorpius asked.

"Peeves is a poltergeist, not a ghost," said Lysander. "Poltergeists were never mortal humans."

"He likes to pick on first years," Lorcan added as he picked up the strewn chess pieces. "We'll walk you back to your dorm. We only came here because we heard you shouting. We thought it might be albino alligators crawling up from the toilets."

"_Lorcan_ thought it was albino alligators. Everyone know that albino alligators stick to London."

Each twin took one of Scorpius' arms. "We''ll walk you back to your dorm. If he bothers you any more, just talk to the Bloody Baron. He might help you, what with your parents being Slytherin."

"T-talk t-t-t-to th-the B-b-b-_him_?" Talk to the ghost of a murderer? _No way_.

"Ghosts can't hurt you. Poltergeists can," Lysander said, "And venomous albino alligators."

"Now you're being ridiculous. _Venomous _albino alligators are only found in New York City."

Scorpius froze. A transparent, glowing woman was walking toward them at a sedate pace, her hands folded before her. She didn't seem to notice the boys. Scorpius closed his eyes, but he could still see that icily beautiful face. "It's the Gray Lady," said Lorcan.

Scorpius opened his eyes again just as the Gray Lady walked through him. "_AUGH_!" It felt like all his insides had turned to ice water.

"There. That's the worst thing a ghost can do to you, even the Bloody Baron," Lysander said. "It's not all that scary, is it?"

"I guess not."

"That's not even _close_ to the scariest thing that's happened to me today," Lorcan said. "At breakfast, I nearly swallowed a Panamanian Demon Mite that was swimming in my porridge."

They had arrived at the first year dorm. "Thank you for helping me. Um, could I ask you something that's kind of weird?"

"No, we're not actually Changelings. That's just a rumor someone started."

"What? Uh, no. Could you stay in the doorway until I'm actually in bed?" Scorpius flushed a little as he asked. Why did his only friends at school have to be a year older?

"Oh, you want to make sure your toes don't get gnawed off by a Lesser Mongolian Mattress Monster," said Lorcan.

Lesser Mongolian Mattress Monsters? Well, Scorpius would never be too afraid to go to the bathroom at night because of _ghosts _again. He had something completely new to be frightened of. He got into bed and tucked the covers around his feet as tight as he could. No Mattress Monster was going to have _his _toes for a midnight snack. He waved at the twins. "Good night."

"Good night, Scorpius."

"You'll eat with us at breakfast, right? Sweet dreams."

Sweet dreams? That wasn't likely at this point. But at least he knew his morning would be good.


End file.
